Thursday, November 19, 2009

Werewolf in a womans prison

A WEREWOLF IN A WOMENS PRISON

In the vain of American Werewolf in London meets Debbie Does Dallas. Spoofing the most cliché images of 70's grindhouse flicks is A Werewolf in a Women's Prison from Girl meets boy , boys says lets go camping in mean south american back wood country. Sounds like fun. Boy and Girl go camping and get attacked by a werewolf. Boy dies girl goes to jail for murder of her husband but she was bitten by the werewolf. This is a south american woman's prison so of course the woman are treated like whores and sold to the highest bitter. The prison is managed by a leather clad Baroness/ Ilsa character that likes to have her ways with the prisoners as well. This movie is a homage to the classic 70s grindhouse movies like Caged Heat and the Big Doll House. But with the ghost of the husband telling our heroin to kill her self because she will become a werewolf and kill everyone if she didn't. That's the only American Werewolf reference. The film gets wacky as the main girl and her cell mate are being punished for fighting. They get chained to rocks in the desert with their clothes off.





They decide the only way not to die of dehydration is to lick the sweat off each others naked body. Hot ! But also freakin' hilariously retarded. Then finally she changes and this changes the movie to awesome. She tears right out of her skin leaving a nasty husk behind and becomes this ridiculously huge hairy rampaging werewolf with the funniest red glowing eyes. The eyes are so funny looking, as they are obviously plugged in Christmas lights in the eyes of the mask and with this the guy in the suit can't see where the hell he is going. The acting in this movie is terrrriiiibbbllle but the movie knows it and they all ham it up and look like they were having a blast with this. This is totally a great drunk fest to watch. The blood is crazy and boobies are bouncing and some of the dumbest dialogue is flowing like verbal diarehea.

AND NOW THE BEER METER.
Not a scale but a time line! How to sum up a movie through consistent drinking (Trust me for my movie choices it helps)

1 Beers : “What's wrong with that girls face? Oh I see you can kill a werewolf by pouring Vodka with silver in it, but first you gotta set him on fire”
2 Beers : “Oh Chained Heat I love your lesbian overtones, oh wow that's more then an overtone”
3 Beers: “Tre Drole, what a terrible American Werewolf joke”
4 Beers: “Oh my god Ripped that Bitch in Half”
5 Beers: “ Do her while she's a Monster!”
6 Beers: “Well that sucked but I do want to find this prison someday”

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